You Know you're in a Horror Movie When...

1) You ask if anybody is there...and don't get an answer, so you do the most logical thing possible. You go down to the basement. By yourself, of course.

2) Doesn't matter if it's a house or a car, because your keys don't work! You try and try and TRY but your fingers just won't grasp onto it properly. And it seems like the lock is moving too, because you keep stabbing the key into it...and missing.

3) That getaway car--you know the one you just barely made it into? You had a head start, but now that you've finally gotten the key inserted, well, shit. The engine of your recent model sedan--which has started faithfully at every other time--has become uncooperative. No matter how many times you turn the key, the engine just won't turn over. Now that monster/murderer/etc is right outside your car window...

4) You're running for your life! Except, one of your shoelaces is untied, or a tree root comes up out of nowhere and hooks onto your toe OR possibly you've just become really clumsy, because you TRIP and fall. Now you're scrambling around, desperately trying to remember how to walk, so you do a backwards crab-walk instead (because that always works).

5) Flashlight/electricity goes out. No cell service. 'Nuff said.

Annoyed by the 2nd person POV yet, LOL? Reminds me of those old 'Choose Your On Adventure' books. Yep, I probably just labeled myself old by mentioning those. So...what other plot devices do we see commonly in horror movies?

So that snowstorm...(*too cold for crickets but I'm making the sound anyway*)

Well, after being bashed upside the head (repeatedly, I might add) with the threat of BIG snow, school cancellations, and a treacherous morning commute, I woke to...a well plowed parking lot, perfectly drive-able roads and two happy kids who didn't have to go to school (even though they probably should've been able to). NOT that I'm complaining , because last night's commute sucked :P

Currently, I'm procrastinating. I'm in promotional burnout and I've just barely begun. Living Dead Girl is almost a week old (Ha). I find myself wondering how to spread the word without being an annoying pain in the ass. And then I worry...what if I'm reaching to the wrong audience? What is the right audience? Because this story doesn't really fit the mold of any one genre. There are paranormal elements, but they don't happen right away. There's romance, but it's not really HEA. In a nutshell, it's an adult coming of age (and dying) story...with a zombie. Heh. File this under: author paranoia :)

On that note...how about a brief excerpt?

It was as if I’d been jerked out of a sound sleep by a nightmare and I was stuck in that brief couple seconds of wondering if it had been real or not.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Well if you’d let me explain before you went bolting outta the room, then you’d know, wouldn’t you? It seems to me that you’re quite dead. So I’ve come to collect you.”

“Is this a joke?” It had to be a joke.

“No joke. No one survives wounds like that. You were stone dead soon as soon as they wheeled you in here.”

Honestly, I had no idea how bad those injuries really were. It had happened so fast. One minute I was worried what Jack was going to do and the next thing I knew, I was lying in a pool of my own blood. I’d always thought I’d react differently if I was attacked. But in reality, my mind just shut down. Hell, it didn’t even hurt while I was being stabbed. After? Well, that was something completely different. It was pure agony.

So how exactly was I supposed to wrap my head around the whole thing? I wasn’t entirely sure I could trust this guy. I mean, this was it? Really? My life ends and some creep in a grungy leather jacket takes me away? No, I couldn’t accept that.

Jack needed me.

“I’m not going anywhere with you.”

What's on my mind

So I'm ashamed to admit, I watched this really terrible horror movie last night. It was so laughably stupid and full of WTF moments, that I think I might've died a little inside. The movie was called Thankskilling, and yes it was every bit as bad as you can imagine just by seeing the title (a necromanced turkey?!). IMDB rating is 4.3 stars, which is a bit generous. I think this even tops Sharknado. (Yeah, I saw that too O.o). Watching cheesy horror movies has always been a 'thing' with my family, especially when we all get together. Maybe this explains a few things??

ANYWAY...

I've been asked a lot the past couple days how it feels now that Living Dead Girl is out. Well? Right now, I'm feeling pressure! Like the REAL work has just begun. First, I'll need to step up my game to make sure Living Dead Girl is a success. I won't lie--I'm still a noob with marketing, especially myself, but I'm working on it. And second...I'm fighting my way back from 'edit mode' into 'rough draft mode' so I can finish up the sequel to Living Dead Girl.

Countdown to Release, Part 3 Getting to Know You

We're now less than a week away from release. So hard to believe! Today I'll introduce you to some of the characters and give a few brief facts about each of them.

Jen MacLellan

Age: 21
Occupation: Mortician
Physical Characteristics: brown hair, brown eyes, fair skin

Personality, Traits & interests: kind; responsible; levelheaded in most situations; unafraid to speak her mind; stubborn; fiercely loyal to friends and family; driven by a need to protect those close to her; prefers staying in and relaxing with a good book or movie to a night out on the town

Flaws: doesn’t stick up for herself; takes on more responsibility than she can handle; often sticks with the ‘safe’ choice rather than taking a risk

Random Facts: Jen comes across as reserved and serious at first, but she actually has a pretty wicked sense of humor.

Jack Norris

Age: 22

Occupation: Musician

Physical Characteristics: blue hair, blue eyes, tattoos

Personality, Traits & Interests: friendly; outgoing; likes to tease and joke around; likes to be the center of attention; loyal to his friends; lives and breathes music; always seems happy; passionate about the things he loves and hates; loves to party; won't back down from a fight, but he doesn't neccessesarily go looking for it

Flaws: doesn’t think before he speaks or acts; prone to reckless, irresponsible behavior

Random Facts: Jack was a child prodigy on the piano and played major venues at the age of six

PJ Bradford (Jen’s best friend)

Age: 22

Occupation: Artist/Painter

Physical Characteristics: pixie cut blonde hair, blue eyes, very petite, some tattoos

Personality, Traits & Interests: outspoken; caring; comfortable in most any situation; loves all things occult; dry, ironic sense of humor; open minded;very intuitive 

Flaws: doesn’t self-censor and can come across as cruel without meaning to; doesn’t fully trust anyone and hides things about herself from close friends

Random Fact: PJ's family first settled in New England in the 1600’s and one of her ancestors was tried as a witch

Ethan MacLellan (Jen’s cousin)

Age: 19

Occupation: College student, part time mortician’s assistant

Physical Characteristics: Wild curly reddish brown hair, green eyes, glasses

Personality, Traits & Interests: wise-ass; enjoys causing trouble; loves all things zombie; watches lots of anime; practical joker; highly intelligent

Flaws: He’s always pushing boundaries and isn’t very good at judging when to back off, reckless driver

Random Fact: He’s harbored a secret crush on PJ for years

Ashton Norris (Jack’s brother)

Age: 29

Occupation: Freelance writer, manages Jack’s band

Physical Characteristics: shoulder length black hair, blue eyes, glasses

Personality, Traits & Interests: Driven to succeed; charming; very detail oriented; focused; responsible; looks out for his younger brother; loves music but lacks musical talent; wants to bring Jack’s band to the next level

Flaws: He’s so driven that he can be ruthless in the decisions he makes—he doesn’t care who gets hurt, as long as he achieves his goal; sometimes he tries to control Jack a little too much

Random Fact: Ashton is such a smooth talker that people don’t always realized when they’ve been conned

Merry Thomlinson

Age: 24

Occupation: Musician

Physical Characteristics: Betty Page style hair that she dyes different colors, brown eyes, tattoos

Personality, Traits & Interests: loud; outgoing; talented stage performer; will do whatever she can to get what she wants; loves to party and socialize; passionate about music

Flaws: obsessed with Jack to the point that she misinterprets any attention he gives her as romantic interest; doesn’t respect boundaries

Random Fact: you don’t want her as an enemy

Drew MacLellan (Jen’s brother)

Age: 16

Occupation: high school student

Characteristics: Brown hair, brown eyes, stocky build

Personality, traits & interests: rebellious; loves music; wants to fit in; aspiring professional musician; quiet; stoic facade

Flaws: doesn't think about consequences for his actions

Random Fact: despite frequent clashes with his older sister, he actually loves her and would do anything to keep her from getting hurt

Countdown to Release Day, Part 2 : Just a Tease

Now that I've gotten my blog back from a certain wayward character (ahem), how about a little tease? Here's a short excerpt from the opening chapter of LIVING DEAD GIRL: 

 Providence, Rhode Island

Was it a full moon? Because it seemed like crazy hit town and we got flooded. The funeral home was packed with more bodies than usual. I’d spent the past half hour explaining to a grieving family why an open casket really wasn’t the best option for their grandmother who’d been dead for over two weeks. Believe me, it wasn’t. I’d never been so happy to lock the front door.

Dad and I were cleaning up the prep room when my nineteen-year-old cousin Ethan appeared in the doorway with his hand shoved in a bag of chips. Like all the men in the family he towered over me, a height that was punctuated by another three or so inches of reddish-brown white boy ’fro. “You guys want the bad news or the really bad news first?”

The beginnings of a migraine pulsated in my right temple, growing more insistent by the second. It was now after ten o’clock at night. The only thing I wanted was to shower and get ready for bed.

Dad closed the stainless steel cabinet where we kept all the bottles of embalming chemicals. “Just lay it all out there.”

“Man, you guys are no fun.” He stuffed another chip in his mouth, then wiped his hand on the front of his Naruto T-shirt. “All right. We got another stiff, and Drew’s at some shady party getting hammered.” Ethan grinned.

“What?” I said. “Drew is…what?”

“You know, getting sloshed, shitfaced, cocked, drunk—”

“I know what it means, you ass.”

Dad looked at me, frowning. “Isn’t he supposed to be working on a science project?”

“What, like how many beers does it take to get to the center of a—?”

“Ethan, knock it off,” I snapped. “Yes, he was supposed to be working on a science project. I should’ve known.”

“Right? Nobody does homework on Friday nights.”

“You’re really not helping.”

Dad sighed and slumped his shoulders. “Well, one of us will have to go get him.”

“Why don’t you guys flip for it?” Ethan held a quarter between his thumb and forefinger and waved it in front of my face. “C’mon. Heads, Jen gets him; tails and Uncle Andrew does it. It’s foolproof.”

Foolproof? Ha. Right. Try suckered. Dad and I looked at each other and shrugged. My sixteen-year-old brother deserved the mother of all ass-kickings. Was it wrong that I was hoping for tails? Tails meant filling out some paperwork and escorting a body from the hospital morgue. It meant no aggravation. That body wasn’t going to argue or give me an attitude. My brother?

Yeah, different story.

Ethan slapped the quarter onto the table and lifted his hand. “Heads, my lovely cousin.”

Wonderful.